Sometimes just talking about it can open up a new level in the relationship or give the incentive to get involved in something new.įor those who find that it works well and, above all, is fun: go for it! In the long run, however, for many it may simply be too little to change something in their sex life together. This helpful approach to sex therapy or counselling is not included in the “Erotic Blueprints,” but they can be a great introduction when dealing with what one’s own pleasure accesses are in more detail. Because you can bring yourself pleasure, to some extent, and not be dependent on your partner doing exactly what I need. ![]() If you know your body tools – breath, tension, different speeds and the range of movement that I take up – and can influence them, you have a great amount of possibilities available to you during sex. Everything no longer has to “fit exactly” between us, but I can switch back and forth between different movements, touches or games that all potentially give me pleasure. The cool thing about it: the more broadly I am positioned myself, the more compatible I am in contact with other people. This doesn’t happen overnigh t and always requires perseverance, but every person can learn to feel more insync with their body and perhaps get into pleasure more easily and directly. If we see it as our instrument, it is possible throughout our lives to expand our repertoire and to add keys, or strings, or to play a new chord, in order to enjoy completely new music. But I can learn to feel a lot in other ways and to develop new ways of accessing pleasure, and the best way to do that is with the sex tool we have at our disposal all our lives: our own body. If I’m only into dirty talk, but my partner needs long massages to get into the mood, it becomes difficult at some point to have sex together. And arousal always takes place physically: breathing changes, body tension can vary, more blood flows into the genitals and the penis and vulva/vagina get an erection, which we often (not always, by the way!) experience as pleasurable and horny.Īnd so the exploration of sexual difficulties in couple sexuality is not only about finding the lowest common denominator with each other – but about expanding and learning about one’s own sexuality. things that one likes and that work great to get aroused. In sexuality, however, we often forget that each person has a very individual, learned sexuality, and yes, this clearly includes “turn-ons” that have been developed over the years – i.e. And here lies a limitation of working with the “Erotic Blueprints”: It depends on the willingness of both partners and could also come to the conclusion: Well, you are just too different!Įncouraging communication and self-reflection in a couple is always a good idea, and this is where the strengths of the model lie: it is a couple-dynamic approach, in a similar way to couple therapy or counselling, and can be helpful for many within such a framework. Especially if this kind of access has not played a role in the person’s life so far. Just because I know what turns me on doesn’t necessarily mean that I can get my sex partner excited about it. In reality, this is probably not always the case. In the scenario of the Netflix series, both partners are open and willing to try things out, even in public. Seducing someone to engage in new experiences and to feel a lot in different ways is a great, yet oftentimes not an easy skill to realise – whether in life or in sexuality. The concept is reminiscent of Chapman’s “5 languages of love,” which are also primarily about understanding oneself better and communicating more mindfully with each other on this basis. The aim is to work on finding a common “sex language” and to understand where things are going wrong. Jaiya Ma uses the categories to get couples talking to each other and reflecting on commonalities and differences. Exciting at first, and, let’s face it – who doesn’t love taking a quiz about themselves? ![]() Type number five is the shapeshifter, who moves through all types and can draw excitement from everything.īut the evaluation is not quite so black and white, at least not in the Pleasure Profile, which has to be paid for: the results are given in percentages, so you have to find out how many of which blueprints you have. If you are the energetic type, you are turned on less by direct touch than by teasing, and the energy of the other person the sensual type draws its turn-ons from all five senses the sexual type focuses on nudity, genitals, everything visual and orgasms and if you are kinky, you are turned on by taboo-breaking and lustful forbidden things either in fantasy or in playing with each other. After taking the quiz you can find out which one you are. The “Erotic Blueprints” is a test, where the answers consist of 5 categories.
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